Beyond the Oyster Juice

Yee Haw!

In today's mail, Mad Gringo got an autographed, glossy 8-by-10 photograph with the confident mug of Kenny Chesney.  Yep, Kenny Chesney the country musician.  He's got songs called "No, Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems," "Beer in Mexico," and "Guitars and Tiki Bars."  Seems to be our kind of guy.

Still, Mad Gringo has a hard time imaging this guy lounging in a Running with Bamboo shirt.  Kenny seems to be a You Gotta Earn Them Beads Straw Beach Hat man.

This whole thing has Mad Brian turning in circles again.  He wants to know if we should send a shirt to Kenny.  Maybe not a Hawaiian shirt, but a beach tee.  A hat?  Flip flops?  Who knows!  If you think we should send something to Kenny, let Mad Brian know what Mad Gringo gear to pack up.

Roxxtoberfest

Mad Gringo wants to know who will be going to Roxxtoberfest in Siesta Key October 4?

I need to see some pictures. Even the grainy phone video type of pictures.

Of Hottie Hilda.

 (staff photo from Chip Litherland, Herald Tribune)

Or of any of the happenings from that event.

Maybe Mad Gringo can make it down there, show off some Hawaian shirts and have some fun.

http://www.theblockthatroxx.com/

Or I could take a nap.

Go slow.

Hate Mondays?

It's Thursday. Time to start thinking about Monday.

According to a new study released through the Australasian Sleep Association Conference, if we quit trying to catch up on sleep during the weekend we'll be less fatigued on Mondays.

Mad Gringo thinks that's only a problem if you actually have something to do on Monday.

From the article:

"We've discovered that these sleep-ins are actually putting your body out of whack enough to change your Sunday night bedtime and set you up for Monday blues," Professor Lack told AAP.

And these participants weren't even getting stuck in Happy Hour on Friday or dancing into the wee hours with Satchel Grande on Saturday night. I wonder what that study would show?

"Here's Why You Hate Mondays - Too Many Tropical Drinks on Saturday"

Mad Gringo might need to get a study funded for that.

Unless that's considered an earmark. I would say "Thanks, but no thanks".

Go slow.

 

60,000 thoughts a day

(from dvice.com)

Mad Gringo loves the claim that we have about 60,000 thoughts per day running through our grey matter.

We love it because no one knows where the number comes from.

Anyway, the point is that 95% of these thoughts are the same thing each day.

Hawaiian shirts.

I know. I was amazed too.

It explains a lot.

Go slow.

Random Thoughts - Newsletter

	Aloha! It's September. I hope you had a great Labor Day. I golfed. It was sunny. I wore the brightest shirt. In this issue: * Mad Gringos in the news * Win $10 off or a Mad Gringo Beach Blanket See, I am trying to keep these short. ********************* Mad Gringos in the news Some mad gringos helped build a giant telescope. To see Uranus. http://blogs.nature.com/news/thegreatbeyond/2008/09/mirror_mirror_on_the_floor.html#94991 (That joke never gets old) I had another classic 7th grade funny emailed to me this morning. Say this as fast as you can 7 times. one smart fellow he felt smart two smart fellows they felt smart three smart fellows they all felt smart Mrs Gringo hates it when I digress into potty humor. I apologize. But, traveling back in time to thoughts of summer camp found in this NY Times article: A Place and an Era in Which Time Could Stand Still Maybe it's not just us adults that should slow down, but our kiddies too. How was that for an about face? Potty humor to deep thoughts on childhood lost. Does that make me a flip-flopper? Is that bad? Is it too late to run for office? That reminds me: it's time for a contest. Mad Gringos in the Office. "Your Mad Gringo at Work" Photo Contest I love contests. Even if you don't win it's an excuse to try something new. Here is the theme of this contest: "Mad Gringos at Work" This one can have a loose interpretation. While I prefer Mad Gringo gear in the photos, any interpretation of what Mad Gringo does at work is acceptable. This can be in a cubicle. In front of a PC. Asleep at a desk. Playing games at the conference room table. Watching a sunset on your laptop. Talking like a pirate. Remember, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day Be creative. First Prize is a special Mad Gringo Contest Winner T-Shirt with a limited edition Beach Blanket by Paula Mondatta. (It's up there in the middle of the photos of logo tees. High quality Polartec fleece. Sewn in patches made from Mad Gringo shirt patterns. Pockets that secure with velcro to hold valuables. Bigger than Michael Phelps wingspan, smaller than an elephant. Very unique.) Second Prize is a Mad Gringo logo T-Shirt and a gift certificate to Applebees. (Which may or may not be a re-gift) Third Prize is a Mad Gringo logo T-Shirt. Everyone who submits a usable photo will get a $10 Gift Certificate to the MadGringo.com site. One per person. So, technically everyone's a winner! Just like micro-soccer! Contest Ends September 26th, 2008. You have 3 weeks. Get snappin' ! "Your Mad Gringo at Work" Photo Contest I'm excited to see what you come up with! This Friday is a good day to start. Just bring in the camera or work that one on your phone. Lay on the conference room table. Grab a couple of guys with suits and ties and snap away. Or do the Superman thing - tearing away your necktie as you reveal a Mad Gringo shirt or any Hawaiian Shirt underneath. I'm not picky. Post them on Flickr tagged "madgringo" or send them to me. If you want privacy I can have Mad Michelle do her magic in Photoshop. It's all good. The winner will be determined by the crack staff at Mad Gringo. (I may even email Mad Abby the Intern to get her input) We'll make the decision at our FAC on the 26th and email the winners on Monday. Go slow.

Story of a Sign

This was sent to me from Mad Paul.

It's a short film that won the Cannes Film Festival 2008.

I love it.

Go slow. 

The Go Slow Party

(image from Grist.org)

Put another $1100 in your pocket with this advice sent to Mad Gringo by Sista Liz:

Party of 55

Right now a solid 60% of people oppose to the return of the 55 mile per hour speed limit, but by my figuring that is about the same number of people that oppose Hawaiian Shirts too.

Coincidence?

I don't think so. I'm going to start saying that people who wear Hawaiian Shirts are better drivers and have more money.

Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Go slow.

Advice anyone can follow

This comes to Mad Gringo from Mad Jeff.

Mad Gringo,

I found the following training tips:

Tips for Healthy Living

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it, don't waste them away on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually, speeding up your
heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you can extend the life of your car by driving
it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
slop.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat,
your ratio is 1 to 1. If you have 2 bodies, your ratio
is 2 to 1, etc.

Q: What are advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain = Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated with it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
bigger stomach.

Finally. Words to make anyone's inner Mad Gringo feel better.

Go slow.

Cubicle Manners

It's Friday and you are all thinking about the weekend.

But not Mad Gringo. I am thinking about cubicles. (I'm kind of like Bizzaro Superman - just opposite of what you're doing)

This came to me from Mad Lisa. And it's funny.

(nicecritic.com)

Anonymous criticism. Nice criticism.

My favorites:

"Please do not remove your shoes. Your feet tend to give off an aroma."

"The clipping of your fingernails can be somewhat distracting."

"A breath mint would be beneficial today."

Classic.

It's all at NiceCritic.com.

If this thing were around a few years ago my email inbox would be full. I just know it.

Go slow.

Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day.

Question for the Mad Gringo Advice Department

Mad Gringo gets to all questions in due time.

This one came in February 7th.

2008, so I'm still good. 6 months.

"Dear Mad Gringo: My wife is old school and thinks all Hawaiian shirts
should be tucked in.   Of course I derailed her by asking her if it was
acceptable to wear the collar flaps up if I were to tuck the shirttails
in.  Fortunately for now, the imagery of my suggestion has put this
discussion off.

How do I get her with the program?

Going slow in Baltimore,

Mark"

This one is a stumper. I didn't know the old school tucked Hawaiian Shirts in. Maybe on Hawaii 5-0?

For our new Cotton Hawaiian Shirts we put a little contrasting fabric under the collar, in case you did want to go 80's and pop it.

But I can't imagine tucking these in. Unless it's a wind storm and you want to keep your belly from peeking out.

Is your belly peeking out? That might explain it. Every time my belly peeks out, Mrs Gringo shakes her head and walks away.

Promise her your belly won't be playing turtle head and you'll be good.

Until next year!

Go slow.