Beyond the Oyster Juice

Extreme commutes

Mad Gringo hates traffic. Almost as much as those neckties.

http://www.thestar.com/News/World/article/283771

This article came from my friends at the Rat Race Rebellion and it covers a trend called "extreme commuting". Defined as commutes over 90 minutes long.

90 minutes!

Heck, in 90 minutes I could have Mrs. Gringo dancing on the kitchen table with my new Jimmy Buffett Frozen Concoction maker. (courtesy of UFB, owner of Milwaukee's Best Restaurant)

Check out these other quotes that Mike at RRR highlighted:

• “The alarm is set for 4:15 a.m., and the fatigue is already setting in.”
  
• "What's really going on here is that we can't do anything without getting into our motor vehicle and going somewhere,'' said an expert who discussed the link between commuting and obesity, heart attack, and stroke.

I hope that none of you are stuck commuting like this. If you are, you might consider selling tropical clothing online. Or something.

IslandGirl - any haikus for traffic?

Go slow.

Mad Gringos at the KIOCC Christmas Party

When two or more of you gather for a feast, Mad Gringo is there in spirit.

And sometimes in hawaiian shirts, sarongs, hats and wooden signs!

Mad Lane and Wild Bill show off the latest fashions in beach wear:

I love the combat boots with the Bali Night Reflection Sarong. It says a lot. We're not sure exactly what, but it says a lot.

Wild Bill models the Running with Bamboo Tropical Shirt and Mad Lane has the Rusted Roots under that coat.

No ties.

Slicko has a Mad Gringo Big Floppy Beach Hat on and a new book. "Flat Frogs and Fine Houses of Hanalei". Take a peek - it's good. 

The final picture from the party is of Mad Deb as she picks a spot for her new Mad Gringo Tiki Guys Bar Sign.

You may look at Mad Deb and think, "Man, she looks familiar."

Of course she does! You've seen her in the endless re-runs of the 2004 blockbuster holiday
flick "National Treasure".

She only has a cameo in the sequel, but thanks to Deb, in 2004 millions were exposed to the Mad Gringo's Go Slow attitude through the magic of product placement whiz, Corky Danielson.

Good stuff.

Keep those pictures rolling in! Haikus too. I'm not picky.

Go slow.

Back to the office

Mad Gringo offers this haiku for those at the office:

A blender sits idle
Waves crash as gulls soar overhead
Slide number eighty

Let it soak in baby.

Don't worry. There's more. Feel free to contribute.

Go slow.

Some days you just wake up to good news

(Picture from the Pinnacle Peak Steakhouse)

Some days it's like someone is watching over you.

This morning the e-mail box was filled with stories showing the progress Mad Gringo has made this year.

The first story is from the Wall Street Journal. The title almost brought a tear to my eye.

"Curtains for the Necktie?" it read. Sniff.

Sure, Mad Gringo isn't mentioned in the article but I know what's really going on. I'm not going to let ego get the best of me here. It's bigger than that.

The second article came out a few months ago, but was just forwarded to me today from one of Mad Gringo's niece/cousin/in-law types.

"The key to landing a job could lie in that Hawaiian shirt". Powerful. Hard hitting. Shaking the establishment to its core. Plus it was printed in the University of Southern California's student paper.

This is big.

Boston College students wearing Mad Gringo tshirts.

USC students hearing about Hawaiian shirts helping to land jobs.

The Wall Street Jounal lamenting the passage of the necktie.

You know what this means, don't you?

That's right.

Pig Roast.

Date, time and location to follow.

Go slow.

More on the Moustache

Mad Gringo has heard a lot about his pictures.

From "boy, that doesn't look like you" to "I never knew you looked like Osama". Nice.

Then I received this link to the Moustache Quarterly:

http://moustacheandbeardquarterly.blogspot.com/

Did you know that September was International Neckbeard Awareness month?

Do you know anything about Neckbeards?

Thoreau had one:

Mad Gringo will have one now too. Through the magic of Photoshop.

Check out all the moustache types on http://moustacheandbeardquarterly.blogspot.com/ too. Muy bien.

My favorite? Imperial of course.

Go slow.

Mad Gringo Moustache

Isn't it funny how a simple task can send you off on a tangent that lasts for . . . uh, all day?

I had a simple request placed on me: provide a picture for an upcoming article in a trade mag.

Embarrassing, I know.

Anyway, I started to comply. Strapping on a straw hat and holding the camera at arms length, here's the first shot:

Blah. Bland. Heck, it looks like I've been sitting in a basement somewhere bathing myself in flourescent lights. Then Photoshop took over.

Ahh yes. Like a spash of tequilla in my orange juice. But hey! Why stop there?

Bandito!

Groucho!

Movie Star!

Kossak!

Oh - there's more. Lots more. These are just the ones that looked like something.

Fun with Photoshop. We need a contest.

Another day.

Go slow.

Flying the Ama

Mad Gringo is a fan of outrigger canoe racing.

Here is a teaser for a new film coming in 2009 about outrigger canoing and its origins.

Take a peek:

While it may be too much for Mad Gringo's ticker, there's usually a luau post race. Something for everyone.

Go slow.

Holiday Nap Time

(photo: mgmcinnis, flickr)

Too much turkey. One too many drinks. Endless games of Monopoly.

When it gets to be too much, wander over to the PC and visit this site:

http://www.napsounds.com/

Make sure you listen long enough to hear the voice. That voice.

Love it.

Go slow.

Star in your own Web Animation

Mad Gringo knows you've been living under a rock if you have yet to receive a link to Elf Yourself or the Jib Jab clips.

What strikes me as funny is when people set up Mad Gringo versions and send them to me.

I'm touched. Really.

This one in particular really cracked me up:

First: it has Mad Gringo in the snow. Frightening.

Second: the mid clip audio was unexpected and hilarious!

Watch for yourself at http://www.snowjoke.com/viewer.php?id=30661

Thank you IslandGirl.

Go slow.

Tropical Drinks and Shipping

Quick thoughts as December moves right along.

First thought. Go on vacation.

To help you keep  track of the time after you plan this vacation, I have a tool.

The Mad Gringo Vacation Countdown Tool.  Clever name, I know.

So, how do you get one of these bad boys?

1. Visit this link: http://www.yourminis.com/minis/yourminis/madgringo/mini:vacation

2. Set your countdown by clicking on the "Set Countdown" button. Enter the day before you plan on leaving - that way if your boss comes around looking for you you can say "I wanted to make sure I got everything done so I put my vacation off one day". Click "Save".

3. Now the clock is running. Hover your mouse over the widget until you see the llittle box arrow thing in the upper right corner. Click it and then click "Copy Me".

4. Look at all the choices! You can put it on Facebook, MySpace, your blog or even your Microsoft Vista desktop or Mac desktop. And if you're really good, you can just copy the embed code by clicking the cirle/plus sign thing and then paste the code into wherever.

5. Pow. That's it. Vacation counting down.

There is also a secret "Go" tab that has advice and special offers. Mostly advice until I figure out how to put a special offer in that little space. I write bigger than that.

Second thought:
There is still time to get gifts from Mad Gringo and give them to your friends or people that you wish were your friends. You don't belive me?

Bold Proclamation

Mad Gringo guarantees that any order placed before December 19th will arrive by December 21st at no additional cost to you.

How can I make such a claim?

Simple. I'll just tell Big Brown when to get the package there. It may require upgrading your shipment to UPS 3 Day or UPS 2 Day but what's a little added expense to make you happy? It's the season to spread a little Holiday Cheer and Mad Gringo is full of it.

Holiday Cheer. Mad Gringo is full of Holiday Cheer.

Tell your friends.

Last thoughts:

I'll have some links and other news for you soon.

Including the winner of the Go Slow Prize. Kind of like the Nobel Peace Prize but no prestige or money.

To remind you, the nominees are:

Lito Atienza the Phillipine government official that said not wearing Tropical Shirts was a "grievous mortal sin".  I love it.

Roxanne Darling, the video blogger that offers her thoughts while walking along the beach at Beach Walks with Rox. Bringing Aloha to us every day.

Chillmaster Flex who brought us some instant online relaxation with his cool tool. The sunset might just be perfect. 

AppScout the geniuses behind LiveLook.com. A Google Maps mashup that allows us to visit webcams all over the world. After battling ice in the midwest it's nice to see sunshine - even if it's only virtual.

And Carl Honore who wrote the book "In Praise of Slowness" and sent me a copy that I am in the process of savoring. As he says "slow is the new fast".

The inispiration:
Instant Coma-Like State. Yes. Bob Ross. There's something about his voice. Or maybe it's the use of titanium white.

It's probably the "happy little trees".

Whatever it is, I should have a winner in the next week.

As always, if you have something to add please send a note.

Merry Christmas!

Greg - Mad Gringo